I picked up Crusader Kings II as a bundle in a steam sale last year, having had a nice impression of the publisher Paradox Interactive - renowned for meticulous grand strategies. I tried my best to play it twice before, but couldn't seem to bear out the tutorial. Choosing an ideal spouse to build your medieval dynasty seemed a shuddering jump away from strategically redeploying Siberian divisions to stop an armoured breakthrough, as in Hearts of Iron from the same publisher. This was my first thought as I went into the tutorial - wanting for a slow game which could be paused at will with a crying baby at night - for the third time.
But this time I found it surprisingly enjoyable. The game is an endless Machiavellian climb to the top, usually on a pile of bodies. Every duke wants to become king, every king desires the emperor's throne and the emperor seeks to keep his vassals in place by dividing and ruling. Actually, these feudal courts were eerily reminiscent of Stalin's 20th century government: he eliminated all his ambitious "vassals" and split the power, so that the remaining loyalists dared not oppose him.
But this time I found it surprisingly enjoyable. The game is an endless Machiavellian climb to the top, usually on a pile of bodies. Every duke wants to become king, every king desires the emperor's throne and the emperor seeks to keep his vassals in place by dividing and ruling. Actually, these feudal courts were eerily reminiscent of Stalin's 20th century government: he eliminated all his ambitious "vassals" and split the power, so that the remaining loyalists dared not oppose him.
Although the tutorial stated that it would be over when Alfonso of Leon died, after playing to his heir and restarting the game, I still received a prompt to start a tutorial again. So, without the tutorial registering as completed and irked that I couldn't otherwise unlock achievements, I jumped in at the deep end and started an "Ironman" campaign. In this roguelike mode, there is a single computer-controlled savefile: any mistakes are permanent.
I started in 867 (no Charlemagne DLC) as the leader of Wessex, because my wife and I have recently been watching "The Last Kingdom", a period drama set against the backdrop of King Alfred the Great of Wessex stopping the Vikings. Without a full understanding of how wars or combat works, or how the initial Viking "horde" spawns work, I initially launched myself into a series of disastrous counterattacks which quickly depleted our war score and losing Northumbria.
In modern military textbooks, one of the principles of defence is an Offensive Spirit and I was fully committed to use this in the defence of Wessex - and eventually England - from the Vikings. While they consolidated their spoils, and with Mercia as a buffer zone, I immediately set about fabricating claims to take Cornwall, a county in Wales and then counties in Mercia itself. This emboldened me to start taking on some of the weaker Vikings and soon to press forward to form the kingdom of England.
While I was consolidating England, the Vikings had settled and formed a large Scotian block under the Kingdom of Ireland, with a surprisingly strong and independent Wales in the mix. However, when the lords of Scotland briefly rebelled and split the country in two, I seized my chance to fight both individually and take enough counties to form the Empire of Britannia. Now with a dominant position in the British Isles, I was unopposed in taking the rest of the counties de jure, one at a time, but greatly slowed down by the need to have a 10 year truce after every county. This was greatly sped up when I was able to usurp the kingdom of Ireland, fracturing the lands there and allowing me to press multiple wars simultaneously.
By 1066 I had most of the British Isles and set about googling a few things. I had previously attempted to press a courtier's claim to be king, but was exasperated to find that this merely installed him as an independent ruler. But then I read something which said that giving the claimant a landed title would make them your vassal when a claim was pressed. I set about testing this theory by giving out a county and installing a new king of Sweden under my banner. Now I could take whole countries at a time, but the downside was a Threat increase taking 20 years to dissipate.
But there was another alarming find for me online (since I had the Sunset Invasion DLC). In this alternate history, a great North American empire had captured a wayward Viking ship. This had caused a paradigm shift for them, leading eventually to the construction of a vast armada intent on taking Europe. This was in large part a move to balance out the Mongol invasions of the East with a huge (albeit horseless) horde in the West. Now my Stalinist expansion (sometimes called "map painting" online) had a true purpose, as I needed to force enough subjects under my banner to show a united front against these Transatlantic hordes, whose human sacrifice was surely worse than vassalage to me. Finally, my expansion had another unexpected effect: in order to create land holdings to give to claimants, I built cities (which give the highest monetary income) in sparsely populated places such as the Shetland Islands (where construction is cheapest). Cities in Crusader Kings II are miniature republics and the lands taken when their mayor has a claim pressed become republics too. Thus France and parts of Germany under me entered the Renaissance as fledgling democracies.
But there was another alarming find for me online (since I had the Sunset Invasion DLC). In this alternate history, a great North American empire had captured a wayward Viking ship. This had caused a paradigm shift for them, leading eventually to the construction of a vast armada intent on taking Europe. This was in large part a move to balance out the Mongol invasions of the East with a huge (albeit horseless) horde in the West. Now my Stalinist expansion (sometimes called "map painting" online) had a true purpose, as I needed to force enough subjects under my banner to show a united front against these Transatlantic hordes, whose human sacrifice was surely worse than vassalage to me. Finally, my expansion had another unexpected effect: in order to create land holdings to give to claimants, I built cities (which give the highest monetary income) in sparsely populated places such as the Shetland Islands (where construction is cheapest). Cities in Crusader Kings II are miniature republics and the lands taken when their mayor has a claim pressed become republics too. Thus France and parts of Germany under me entered the Renaissance as fledgling democracies.
The "Aztecs" (really a collection of Mesoamericans) arrived very early, first in Muslim Spain and then in Scotland in 1254 (when the expected arrival is usually 1300). In my realm they had a force of over 100 thousand troops, but I now had marginally more and importantly concentrated my forces. This led to a complete rout and subsequent destruction of all their armies before they could capture a single holding. Without bothering to make peace, I immediately sailed to Spain and fractured their armies there too, until I hunted their retreating force deep into France. For the sake of the relevant achievement, I didn't make peace until their army size dropped precisely to zero.
The Mongols, unfortunately, failed to make any progress in this play-through, though I understand the Horse Lords DLC might give them a bit more edge. This was a shame, because I was expecting them to arrive at the gates of Byzantium or somewhere else I would need to face them. My strategy for hiring a retinue, a standing army, was focused on beating the Mongols and their wily mobile horse archers.
I now needed a goal for the final two centuries of gameplay. I chose an overall strategy of restoring the old Roman Empire, for which I would need control of Byzantium and several other counties around the Mediterranean, such as Alexandria and Venice. In between taking France and succeeding in several Crusades, I made a good start on these prerequisites. Taking the title of Emperor of Byzantium, however, would require more slick maneuvering. Since I couldn't vassalize another emperor, I would have to create an heir with a claim to the throne.
I had already passed Agnatic-Cognatic succession in my empire, allowing female rulers. Now I had managed, through several strategic marriages to Greeks, to have a female heir and a grandson with a claim to the throne of Byzantium. All was set for me to recreate the Roman Empire in two generations. But I snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in what would be my Great Mistake for this play-through. When my character's aged wife died, I thoughtlessly remarried the first princess I could find with high stats, so I wouldn't need to reduce my demesne size. But she quickly gave birth to a boy, who would sidestep my carefully planned lines of inheritance. In retrospect, I could have forced him to take the vows of priesthood, thereby disinheriting him. And what's more, I had also married off one of my daughters without thinking, so that the male heirs she had would later challenge me for succession.
From the Great Mistake came the Great Survivor of my dynasty. Pretty soon I found myself as a child on the throne, with the next in line to succeed me outside my dynasty. If I died now, before I had any direct heirs, it would be game over. It was a tense time when little Mærleswegn fell ill at age 8. But he recovered and as soon as he came of age married a buxom Polish princess. He soon had several sons to succeed him, enlarged his empire earning the title "The Hammer" and even knocked off two of the pretenders, though this was now unnecessary. But becoming the Byzantine - and therefore Roman - emperor was now out of the question before the game ended in 1453 and the Renaissance began.
The longest reigning Wessex monarch
It is clear that there is a lot to learn in this game even after a full play-through. Indeed I never once made any tactical military choices, like manually assigning commanders, or giving battle orders. Some things I did purely for the achievements, such as forming Wales for "United the Kingdoms", taking an opportune moment during a Threat cooldown to go on the shortest possible pilgrimage, but also choosing to expand to Arabia for "Protector of the Holy Places" when I had 30 spare years before I could make my next attempt at Byzantium.
Overall a pleasantly challenging and very relevant game.
The Empire of Britannia at greatest extent
Typical empire summary at the end of the game
Achievements obtained during run:
- The Marriage Game // Full House
- Until Death Do Us Part
- Crusader
- United the Kingdoms
- Protector of the Holy Places
- Pilgrim
- Paragon of Virtue // Exalted Among Men // Merchant Prince // Saint // Celebrity
- And Stay Out!
- Persistent Survivor
- Divine Blood // Dragon Blood // Royal Blood
- Turbulent Priest
- Dwarf Fortress
